I've been thinking a lot lately about the internet and all of the amazing possibilities it presents. For example, I'm now the proud owner of 122 friends on Facebook. These are (with the odd exception) all dear, dear friends from school, Austria, Chorley and now Wales, people with whom I have shared my childhood, my mission and the early years of my adulthood. We can share embarrassing school photos, watch each others kids grow and play Scrabble live over the internet - it's fantastic! Of course, working from home, it does take a superhuman amount of self-discipline to get some work done from time to time!
And talking of catching up friends old and forgotten (kind of), there's YouTube, which - like Facebook, totally rules the world. YouTube is a gigantic repository of video clips, most of which - I hasten to add - are the dregs left over when all of the quality is removed from a barrel, but amongst all of the chaff, there is some really good stuff. Being a huge fan of the UFC and not having Sky TV, I can view clips of all of the best bouts, and catch up with how everyone is doing. I can watch old episodes of Blackadder, the Two Ronnies and QI. We have watched all of series 3 of The Office and have nearly wet ourselves doing so. We have also used it a number of times as part of the girls' home education, finding nature clips and other gems.
We buy books at discount prices from Abe Books, having saved a fortune already this year. In fact at the start of the year, we bought a whole year's home ed curriculum from Sonlight. We swap DVD's with people from all over the UK and Europe using Eswapnow, and find all the latest bargains by logging into our account at Moneysavingexpert.com. Having saved all that money, we then bank online and pay bills and generally transfer money around (between the UK and the Caribbean, of course :D ).
It's hard to find an area of our lives that hasn't been greatly blessed and enhanced by the internet. We made a conscious choice a number of years ago to reduce the amount of rubbish that we were watching on TV, so that we could spend our time doing more useful things. So we got rid of the TV license, and just used the TV for watching videos and DVDs. Several years later, we have now got rid of the TV, video and DVD players, and have moved the computer into the family living room. We've always made an effort not to have the TV being the central point of people's attention as they walk into our room. Now we don't even have one for them to look at! Of course, we can still watch DVDs, but we are now more selective about what we watch and when. Since we made this quite bold move, we've noticed a big difference in the girls - they certainly weren't regular viewers before, but they hardly ever ask to watch films now. Instead, they ask to play internet games or to spend time working towards the next level in something like Study Dog, one of their English programmes.
I was trying to remember a time when we didn't have the internet. I had never even heard of it as a 20 year old missionary. I don't think we owned a computer until we moved to Chorley and I needed one for University, but even then, it was used as a word processor and nothing more. It wasn't really until we signed up for broadband in Wales that we started to realise the potential the internet had to change our lives. We started to watch some of the other sessions of Conference, research materials for lessons; in my work, I used it to carry out enormous research projects for client business plans I was writing. And so the transformation began, and we started to embrace it all whole-heartedly.
We often discussed the idea of selling up and travelling around Europe in a big camper van, and as much as that idea still appeals to us, it would mean having to learn how to live all over again, as we would have to do things without the net. Whether that is exciting or sad, I'll leave for you to decide, but either way, it shows what enormous changes life has seen since my parents were growing up. It fills me with a mixture of excitement and fear to try think how our children will be living when they are ancient like us!
Sunday, 23 September 2007
Sunday, 9 September 2007
There can be only one.......
I've got a challenge for all of you internet-savvie brain boxes.... Find me a Googlewhack. Just in case you're not a lifelong fan of Dave Gorman (and how could any self-respecting Brit NOT be??), a Googlewhack is a pair of words which, when searched for together in Google, produce only one single result. That's one single website in the entire 15 billion + webpages out there, which features those two words on the same page.
"Aha!" I hear you say, "But that's easy!" Really? Good luck! I've tried some pretty random couplets and found over a million responses for them!
I really struck gold on Friday - I have to point out in my defence here that I've spent maybe a half hour in total (ever) on this quest - when I searched for "amorphic tiswas". Quite why ANYONE would want to write about a brand of nonsense without physical shape, I really can't imagine, but apparently somebody out there felt the need.
Bitten by the bug, I then searched for a more nutritious option, typing in random fruits as they popped into my mind. Finally I settled upon "blackcurrant carburretor", which again scored me only one response. The fun didn't stop there, oh no, and I ended up finding three within minutes of each other, with "endomorphic bipolarism" finishing off the triumphant trio.
The tragedy of me telling you all of this is that once I hit that red "Publish" button, there's no going back: my prodigies will all die and become extinct. No more will there be only one entry on large-framed manic depression. There will be no more single source of data on fruity car-parts. Body has now been cruelly added to previously un-formed nonsense, and all proof of my half-hour's labour will be destroyed.
Still, there's comfort in knowing that they are not really 'dead' as such: they will live on in another form. They have now shaken off this mortal coil, and will be resurrected as "dis legomenonae", or words which only appear twice in a spoken language. (Scholars may argue that since the phrase 'blackcurrant carburetor' is not a regular feature in everyday spoken English, it cannot officially count as a dislego-whatsit; but frankly I'm inclined not to care about the opinion of anyone that would care to argue such pedantry as that).
You see, I try to educate the world with this blog. I don't know if there will peace in the Middle East tonight because of it, but one day, one day this blog will have a positive effect on humanity.
Incidentally, the deepest joy of a Googlewhack comes not after an hour's hard labour, leafing furiously through a dictionary trying to find ridiculous words that can't possibly be connected. Oh no. The greatest joy is when you find one, quite by accident, when you wander through the interweb as a serendipitous Indiana Jones. It all happened because of the pain I was having in my neck, sort of a "my whole head is going to explode from the neck up" kind of feeling. Since I've been on antibiotics for a couple of days, I started to Google for potential problems that might cause this kind of phenomena, but I found none. Now somewhat urgently looking for guidance, I typed in "amoxicillin contrainidications", not realising that I had added in a n extra "i". And there before my astounded eyes lay a bright, new shiny Googlewhack of my very own. You can't explain the desire that you get to just reach out and stroke it, like a tiny yellow chick that's hatched before your very eyes. It's something you have to experience for yourself.
All of which nonsense leads me to three clear conclusions:
1) Never under-estimate the power of the internet to rob you of half an hour of productive time at work
2) Always read the label first
and
3) Never trust a website written by a Doctor who can't spell "Contraindication"
Goodnight.
"Aha!" I hear you say, "But that's easy!" Really? Good luck! I've tried some pretty random couplets and found over a million responses for them!
I really struck gold on Friday - I have to point out in my defence here that I've spent maybe a half hour in total (ever) on this quest - when I searched for "amorphic tiswas". Quite why ANYONE would want to write about a brand of nonsense without physical shape, I really can't imagine, but apparently somebody out there felt the need.
Bitten by the bug, I then searched for a more nutritious option, typing in random fruits as they popped into my mind. Finally I settled upon "blackcurrant carburretor", which again scored me only one response. The fun didn't stop there, oh no, and I ended up finding three within minutes of each other, with "endomorphic bipolarism" finishing off the triumphant trio.
The tragedy of me telling you all of this is that once I hit that red "Publish" button, there's no going back: my prodigies will all die and become extinct. No more will there be only one entry on large-framed manic depression. There will be no more single source of data on fruity car-parts. Body has now been cruelly added to previously un-formed nonsense, and all proof of my half-hour's labour will be destroyed.
Still, there's comfort in knowing that they are not really 'dead' as such: they will live on in another form. They have now shaken off this mortal coil, and will be resurrected as "dis legomenonae", or words which only appear twice in a spoken language. (Scholars may argue that since the phrase 'blackcurrant carburetor' is not a regular feature in everyday spoken English, it cannot officially count as a dislego-whatsit; but frankly I'm inclined not to care about the opinion of anyone that would care to argue such pedantry as that).
You see, I try to educate the world with this blog. I don't know if there will peace in the Middle East tonight because of it, but one day, one day this blog will have a positive effect on humanity.
Incidentally, the deepest joy of a Googlewhack comes not after an hour's hard labour, leafing furiously through a dictionary trying to find ridiculous words that can't possibly be connected. Oh no. The greatest joy is when you find one, quite by accident, when you wander through the interweb as a serendipitous Indiana Jones. It all happened because of the pain I was having in my neck, sort of a "my whole head is going to explode from the neck up" kind of feeling. Since I've been on antibiotics for a couple of days, I started to Google for potential problems that might cause this kind of phenomena, but I found none. Now somewhat urgently looking for guidance, I typed in "amoxicillin contrainidications", not realising that I had added in a n extra "i". And there before my astounded eyes lay a bright, new shiny Googlewhack of my very own. You can't explain the desire that you get to just reach out and stroke it, like a tiny yellow chick that's hatched before your very eyes. It's something you have to experience for yourself.
All of which nonsense leads me to three clear conclusions:
1) Never under-estimate the power of the internet to rob you of half an hour of productive time at work
2) Always read the label first
and
3) Never trust a website written by a Doctor who can't spell "Contraindication"
Goodnight.
Saturday, 8 September 2007
What it feels like to be a grown-up...
Well, first impressions of being 30 are good! It probably sounds daft to say that it does feel a little bit different from being 29. I think that's mostly the sense of optimism and hope that this is going to be a great year. I'm in a very different position indeed than I was last birthday, and there are a number of key factors that are also very different now than they were then. The future's orange, as they say.
I felt quite overwhelmed with the loving wishes that seemed to pour in yesterday, with cards through the door, musical e-cards and wall messages on Facebook. I frankly wondered what all the fuss was about! Then I re-read the training course I was busy trying to finish off ready for a client, all about Personal Development. It looks at how our sub-conscious mind builds up a set of values and beliefs, not all of which are true. We have to challenge them and re-train it in order to achieve things. This, combined with the last counselling session I attended, is starting to move things in my head - long overdue too. My therapist (oh my goodness, I'm talking like an American!) asked me why I'm so ashamed of my illness, and why I find it so very difficult to talk about. I said I don't know, and since that session, I've thought a lot about it.
It feels a bit stupid sitting here saying something like "Hello I'm Richard and I suffer from Clinical Depression" but the fact remains that it's true. I do, so there. And since there are only a handful of people that actually read this, and I love them all dearly, here goes..... Some days I feel fantastic, unstoppable, limitlessly talented. Other days, I feel like the lowest piece of scum on the earth who is selfishly taking up other people's resources like air and food. Apparently J.K. Rowling based her Dementors on depression: how the world goes icy cold, and drains of aevery piece of happiness that was ever there. Harry describes how he felt that he would never be happy again. Welcome to clinical depression.
Sometimes I just can't face people, even the ones I love, and I have to just hide until the feeling goes away. I think part of it is that I don't want people to see me like this, some sort of British inability to ever admit that anything's wrong. Linda (my therapist) reminded me that if I had a broken leg, I wouldn't think twice about putting in an appearance, so why should I, just because my condition is mental not physical? It all sounds so logical, so sensible! And yet it's so very difficult to implement when they're swarming around you.
So, in the spirit of the freedom of information act, there are a few things that you all you need to know:
1) First and foremost, I love you all to bits! Cottrelly people, thank you so much for making me part of the family, I feel very welcome amongst you and that's nice.
2) I find dealing with depression very difficult, and I don't always deal with it in the best way (if there is one...) Sometimes I hide away, and that's not always the best solution, but when I do you HAVE to know that it's not because I don't like you or don't want to be with you.
3) May the Lord bless you all to never have anything to do with it. It's the most evil, debilitating illness I can think of. There's not a facet of your life that it doesn't have the power to utterly screw up.
4) You all need to know what an AMAZING sister you've got in Linda. She has put up with a stroppy, sulky teenager for so long now, and there's never been an inkling that she's ever wanted to give up and walk away. I can't put into words how much she means to me and how very grateful I am for her. She has quite literally been a rock that I've clung to when the seas have just about swallowed me up and I have longed and even begged not to be here; she has held my hand until the storm was over so many times. Sorry to get all slushy, but I needed you all to know that.
So how is being 30 so different from being 29? Well, in my case, I now have an excellent Doctor who actually listens and is prepared to experiment to find the right medication; I have a superb psychotherapist who reads me like a book and is really uncovering some juicy stuff; I'm now in a fitness habit which is getting stronger, and already I can feel the difference; I'm working for myself again which I love, and things are starting to grow and progress; I've finished my AAT qualification at last which puts me in a much stronger position to secure work. There will still be down days, I know that, but I feel so much more prepared to handle them than I ever have done before.
So... there it is. I'm 'out of the closet' so to speak. No more secrets. No more hiding. I'm not ashamed it any more. This is me, so there. God bless you all for loving me the way that you do.
And thank you, thank you for all of your birthday wishes.
xx
I felt quite overwhelmed with the loving wishes that seemed to pour in yesterday, with cards through the door, musical e-cards and wall messages on Facebook. I frankly wondered what all the fuss was about! Then I re-read the training course I was busy trying to finish off ready for a client, all about Personal Development. It looks at how our sub-conscious mind builds up a set of values and beliefs, not all of which are true. We have to challenge them and re-train it in order to achieve things. This, combined with the last counselling session I attended, is starting to move things in my head - long overdue too. My therapist (oh my goodness, I'm talking like an American!) asked me why I'm so ashamed of my illness, and why I find it so very difficult to talk about. I said I don't know, and since that session, I've thought a lot about it.
It feels a bit stupid sitting here saying something like "Hello I'm Richard and I suffer from Clinical Depression" but the fact remains that it's true. I do, so there. And since there are only a handful of people that actually read this, and I love them all dearly, here goes..... Some days I feel fantastic, unstoppable, limitlessly talented. Other days, I feel like the lowest piece of scum on the earth who is selfishly taking up other people's resources like air and food. Apparently J.K. Rowling based her Dementors on depression: how the world goes icy cold, and drains of aevery piece of happiness that was ever there. Harry describes how he felt that he would never be happy again. Welcome to clinical depression.
Sometimes I just can't face people, even the ones I love, and I have to just hide until the feeling goes away. I think part of it is that I don't want people to see me like this, some sort of British inability to ever admit that anything's wrong. Linda (my therapist) reminded me that if I had a broken leg, I wouldn't think twice about putting in an appearance, so why should I, just because my condition is mental not physical? It all sounds so logical, so sensible! And yet it's so very difficult to implement when they're swarming around you.
So, in the spirit of the freedom of information act, there are a few things that you all you need to know:
1) First and foremost, I love you all to bits! Cottrelly people, thank you so much for making me part of the family, I feel very welcome amongst you and that's nice.
2) I find dealing with depression very difficult, and I don't always deal with it in the best way (if there is one...) Sometimes I hide away, and that's not always the best solution, but when I do you HAVE to know that it's not because I don't like you or don't want to be with you.
3) May the Lord bless you all to never have anything to do with it. It's the most evil, debilitating illness I can think of. There's not a facet of your life that it doesn't have the power to utterly screw up.
4) You all need to know what an AMAZING sister you've got in Linda. She has put up with a stroppy, sulky teenager for so long now, and there's never been an inkling that she's ever wanted to give up and walk away. I can't put into words how much she means to me and how very grateful I am for her. She has quite literally been a rock that I've clung to when the seas have just about swallowed me up and I have longed and even begged not to be here; she has held my hand until the storm was over so many times. Sorry to get all slushy, but I needed you all to know that.
So how is being 30 so different from being 29? Well, in my case, I now have an excellent Doctor who actually listens and is prepared to experiment to find the right medication; I have a superb psychotherapist who reads me like a book and is really uncovering some juicy stuff; I'm now in a fitness habit which is getting stronger, and already I can feel the difference; I'm working for myself again which I love, and things are starting to grow and progress; I've finished my AAT qualification at last which puts me in a much stronger position to secure work. There will still be down days, I know that, but I feel so much more prepared to handle them than I ever have done before.
So... there it is. I'm 'out of the closet' so to speak. No more secrets. No more hiding. I'm not ashamed it any more. This is me, so there. God bless you all for loving me the way that you do.
And thank you, thank you for all of your birthday wishes.
xx
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